


This Is The End For Us

by PeachThePlum



Category: Homestuck
Genre: End of the World, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Sadstuck, and titling for that matter, johnkat - Freeform, some other tags probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-01
Updated: 2013-07-01
Packaged: 2017-12-16 13:30:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/862558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeachThePlum/pseuds/PeachThePlum
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone is dead, except for Karkat and John. They have to face Lord English alone, but both of them have lost hope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Is The End For Us

"-kat! Karkat! Oh God...!"

Is that John? Why does he sound so distressed?

"I'm so sorry, Karkat. This is all my fault..."

Your fault? What is?

"I couldn't- I wasn't- Lord English, he's-"

Oh. Right. Lord English. You're such a fucking idiot. How could you forget?

"I'm not strong enough. Everyone is dead because of me! Please open your eyes, Karkat..."

You feel something wet drip onto your cheek.

"Please don't die on me as well. I need you...! I can't do this on my own..."

Now is probably a good time to open your eyes, so you force you eyelids open. Everything is blurry at first, but they soon adjust. John is looking down at you. His face is wet with tears, sweat and the blood of your friends. He looks awful. As soon as he sees you're awake, he sobs and balls your tattered shirt up in his hands and lets his head drop and he starts crying into your chest.

Fuck.

You take this chance to take in your surroundings and get your bearings straight. You're not where you were before you passed out and there is no sign of Lord English, thank fuck. John must have grabbed you and flown you to a safer area after that green bastard knocked you out with a single fucking hit.

John lifts his head and looks at you with those magnificent blue eyes that were always so full of life. But now, he looks so lost. So helpless. So _broken_.

You can see it as you look into his eyes passed his broken glasses that there's no hope left in him. It's all gone. He knows you have no chance at winning this and so do you and that _kills_ you because John Egbert, the boy who was always willing to do anything to save everyone, the boy who could always find the good side in everything, has given up. So what hope is there for you?

You try to sit up. As painful as it is, you need to. You can't just lay here like an idiot and let John cry like that. He sees you wince and quickly moves his hand to your back to support you.

That feels so much better.

"I'm sorry, Karkat..." he says through sobs. You shake your head and place your hand on his arm, letting him know that you're okay with physical contact right now. He takes the hint and pulls you into a hug. You bury your face into his shoulder and he does the same. You force the tears away. You can't let him see you cry. Not now. You have to be strong and help him. Support him. Crying won't accomplish anything.

You pull away so that you can look at him. He needs to know that, even though you've said a lot of jerkish stuff in the past, you're there for him no matter what.

"I know what your thinking, John. So _don't_ ," you try to say as firmly as you can, but your voice is shaky and it cracks mid-sentence so it comes out a lot higher than you would have liked. "None of this is your fault. If anything, it's mine." Fight the tears, Karkat. " _I_ am the one who royally fucked up our sessions, not you. So don't. _Please_."

And now you're crying.

The red-tinged tears roll down your cheeks and you hate it so much but you can't help it anymore. You're passed your breaking point and seeing John in such a bad way just makes this whole situation so much worse. John must be thinking the same about you, because he pulls you into another hug. You can feel his tears through your shirt and you hate this. You hate all of this. If you hadn't fucked up the frog breeding, if you hadn't been such an awful leader, if you hadn't played this stupid fucking game in the first place, none of you would be in this situation. John and his friends would have played through the session they _should_ have played through and Jack Noir wouldn't have gotten in the way and they would have won.

But you screwed up. You always screw up. Your whole existence is a screw up. You should have been culled when you were a grub.

Your train of thought is interrupted by John's soft voice.

"If I'm not allowed to blame myself for this, then neither are you," he utters quietly into your ear. It sounds like he's calmed down, which makes you feel better. He's rubbing his hand up and down your back. When did he start doing that? You don't really care because it soothes you more than you would like to let on. You might be about to die, but there is no way you're letting your cool down in front of John.

Fuck, you're starting to sound like Dave.

_Fuck, Dave..._

You tighten the embrace and you feel John smile into your shoulder. Trust that dork to be able to smile even now.

There's a giant crash in the background which makes both of you cringe. You guess Lord English is looking for you. John pulls away from you, leaving his hands on your upper-arms, and gives you this frightened look. He's thinking the same thing.

"What should we do?" Damn it. He's so far gone that he can't even pretend to have a plan.

"Fucked if I know. It's not like we can run forever."

_We..._

Should you tell him? He has a right to know, doesn't he? You flushed for him a while ago but could never come up with the right words to tell him. So you should tell him now, right?

"Hey, John?"

His focus snaps onto you. "Yeah?" His blue eyes are pleading with you to say something hopeful.

"Uh." You can't do this. "It's nothing." Fuck... "Never mind."

You can't tell him. How could you be so fucking selfish? This isn't a movie, Karkat. He won't just accept it and kiss you and say that he feels the same way towards you. Telling him would make everything worse. It would make  _him_ worse. He would blame himself for not noticing sooner and, if he is actually flushed for you as well, he would be kicking himself for not saying anything before now. That's the last thing he needs right now; to worry about your stupid feelings.

You just so happen to glance over John's shoulder and-

Shit.

There he is. Lord English. He's way off in the distance, but he's there.

Coming for you and John.

You must have made a face because at an instant John starts questioning if you're okay. "Karkat? Karkat, what's wrong? Did you see something?" He arches his head around to follow your gaze and, as soon as his eyes meet what you were staring at, you can see his heart drop. He's terrified. Fuck, you hate this so much...

English sees you both. He raises his head and lets out a tremendous roar. Damn it, John doesn't deserve this.

You equip your sickle from your strife specibus and attempt to at least get to your feet. Judging by the pain, he's busted up one of your legs. You can tell that John is worried about you. He jumps up and wraps his arm around your waist so that you can lean on him. Which you do. He selects his Zillyhoo Hammer from his strife specibus and wields it in his empty hand. His breathing his heavy. You can tell he's afraid. So are you.

"Thanks, Karkat." You can't help but jerk your head to the side. He's not looking at you.

"For what?" You raise an eyebrow.

"For everything." He's smiling. He's fucking smiling. That stupid, goofy, adorable fucking smile; it's there. You can't help but smile a bit yourself.

"You're fucking unbelievable. Smiling at a time like this." He chuckles at you. His facade isn't fooling you, though. He's gripping at your shirt and his voice is trembling as he speaks, but you can at least give him points for trying to put up a brave front.

English is almost in an attacking range. You feel the wind current around you change. John is preparing himself. You clutch at his shoulder and tighten your grip on your sickle. He's almost close enough for you to attack. You're ready to meet your demise.

No you're not. You may be able to lie to yourself about other things, but not this. You don't want to die.

You both ready your weapons and as you lunge out to attack, the words you wish you could say to John but can't echo in your mind. _  
_

_Thank you, John, for everything. And I'm sorry..._

**Author's Note:**

> So I attempted a short Sadstuck fanfic. Hopefully it turned out alright. :9 It's not tear-jerking, I know (I'm not that good of a writer), but I enjoyed writing it nonetheless. :3  
> Thankyou for reading! I hope you enjoyed it! ♥


End file.
